Wednesday 14 July 2010

James Tozer writes: Day 3 of the tour brought the first set of fixtures, 'gainst the power-house of Santa Teresa, a school situated about 1hr30min from our fortress at Hotel Zentra. We were greeted on arrival by two Argentine steak mountains, allegedly members of the opposition, each sporting long shanks of greasy brown hair and thighs that dwarfed even Big Ballo's. Refusing to be intimidated, the Eton troops marched through the crisp countryside to the battleground, with the high rugby posts looming overhead. After a quick but amicable plate of spaghetti Bolognese with the oppo, we were ready for our first games of competitive rugby in months.
The 2nd XV were called upon to open the tour account, and led by the inspirational Nick "Braveheart" Sinclair, took the field of play. After a fast but furious opening, in which the travelling side were able to rack up 3-4 tries, the home side began to get a foothold in the game, exposing a hole in the defence to claim their first try, and very nearly got a second, only to be prevented by the try-line heroics of Joe Walker. In the end, the 2nd's finished comfortable winners, at 41-7.
The 1st XV were next up, and opened in similar style, with Sam Williams crossing for the first score after only a handful of phases, and a pushover maul appeared to signal an impending rout. Once again though, the home side offered resistance, and tries were exchanged before a barnstorming run from Paddy Cavanagh-Butler and cheeky interception from Ed Oram sealed the victory, 32-12.The only blot on the win was an early injury to Henry Ashcroft, whose shoulder injury looks to have sidelined him for the next couple of months; we wish him the speediest of recoveries.
After a warm reception, featuring speeches from both sides, and an impressive effort by Mr Lambert in Spanish, we headed back to HQ. We enjoyed a night of quiet celebration involving steak, chips, pocas cervezas and the wisdom of "Two Pint Ted" Sasada, who would like everyone to know how much he loves the twin joys of beer and dubstep.
ED RUSSELL'S (COMPLETELY OBJECTIVE) OBSERVATIONS OF THE XV
Studholme: solid, in every sense of the word
Allen: kamikaze bomber, no regard for his safety
Horn: gave his all, including bodily fluids
Ashcroft: at a try a minute, would surely have scored a hatful if he had played the whole game
Steele: nailed the lineout, but reluctant to go for balls
Bailey: connoisseur of the barbaric howitzer of a lion roar, both on and off the ball
Anderson: Argentine lumberjacks, armed with chainsaws, failed to cut down his thighs of oak
Jones(MofM): someone should tell him the Falklands is already over
Phillpot: given an official warning for being too lippy to the ref. When quietened down very effective
Oram: Usain's latest rival, demonstrated by his acceleration for his 20m interception try
Richardson: twinkle toes, shows it only takes one to tango
Cavanagh-Butler: as chunky as an Argentine steak
Williams: lost his XV cherry, yet to score...
Williams KS: as quick on his feet as he is with his Latin EW
Hartley-Russell: climbing Eton's rugby hierarchy with the same ease as the scaffolding
(Ballantine-Dykes: a sizeable presence in attack and defence, pulled his weight)
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